On World sleep day, a night in the life of an insomniac

Am I an insomniac? Yes, technically I am, given the fact that I sleep for not more than maybe three hours a day. Not sure if chronic insomniacs would agree but my doctors tell me this is ‘unhealthy’. My family says, it’s your job that keeps you up all night but honestly I am up doing nothing even when I am not at work. I am often asked by my colleagues and friends, “when do you sleep?” followed by well-intentioned advice “Trust me it’s really unhealthy”, “you must get 8 hours of sleep”, “office won’t stop without you”, and more. It’s not as if I  haven’t tried out the often talked-about ‘remedies’. After experimenting with no phone, laptop and movies in night hours policy, exercising, getting up at 5 am (so my body can give in to sleep by 10, or 11 pm)  different types of green tea, music, and whatnot, I have come to realise that I am either a nocturnal being or a hopeless insomniac, with high probability of the latter. Guess what? I have tried yoga too, to be precise meditation, but have failed to keep plans and thoughts from coming to my ‘tired’ mind in late hours. So, all you insomniacs out there, you are not alone in tossing and turning night after night. I take solace from the idea that us insomniacs are high-energy people who need little sleep. A famous poet Ghalib has rightly said, “Dil behlaane ko Ghalib khayal acchhaa hai (the thought is good enough to keep yourself happy)”.

So what is the usual night routine for most insomniacs?

11 pm: (I am not “early to rise, early to bed type…and it’s obvious, no?) After a long day full of action at work, my body has almost given up, telling me NO MORE, GO TO BED. However, my mind has different plans so I start with checking my personal mails, some WhatsApp chats with friends outside India. 

12 am: Let’s keep the phone aside because I need to sleep, my absolutely tired body tells me, and I do that.

12.45 am: Am I fast asleep? Well I am not, while pretending really hard to make everyone believe that I am off to my dreams, a rarity for insomniacs like me.

Watch: Insomnia on the rise during the COVID pandemic

1.30 am: I slowly look around and find that everyone is sleeping, and I sneak out of bed to grab some water. Well that’s an excuse to get out of bed and grab my phone. 

It’s 2.40 am and I am scrolling through my Facebook, checking the profile of a long lost friend, thinking how did she manage to stay so fit while I am turning into a balloon.

3 am: My eyelids are drooping but when I lie down to catch some sleep, no success at all. Let’s play some boss, boss! I scan through all major global publications and share a long list of copies to be done with my overnight desk, knowing fully well that they must be thinking, “ye soti kyun nahi yaar (damn, why can’t she sleep)”. 

4 am, just two hours to go for sunrise and here I am struggling to catch some sleep. WhatsApp done. Email done. Facebook done, Twitter done. Music done, and Boss, Boss done. Next, a boring book may be? This is about some great sayings by a ‘great Godman’ (can’t name him, not safe you see).

5 am – I am no better, I am still a ‘sinner’, going by the logic given by the ‘saint’ but I can’t take his great gyan anymore.

5.30 am- I am hungry, but my trainer has told me not to eat anything at odd hours. But 5.30 is not-too-odd? Well it is but I can’t help but get some ice cream to satiate my craving.

6 am: Maybe it’s time to catch some sleep before the day starts. Time to bed, and with full determination. 

8.30 am: My alarm goes off, reminding me of a meeting at 10 am. Did I get some sleep? Maybe a power nap, maybe not. A cup of coffee would surely help me drag through the day and lead me to another happening night. Cheers to all insomniacs!