Nivedita Basu is a name to reckon with in the Indian entertainment industry with shows like ‘Kasautii Zindagii Kay’, ‘Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi’, ‘Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki’ and ‘Hum Paanch’ that she conceptualized along with Ekta Kapoor’s Balaji Telefilms Ltd. For someone who has a fruitful professional journey with her own production house now named ‘House of Originals’, her personal life is mostly about spending time with her three-year-old daughter Oyshee.
Her relation with her daughter is more like a friend and she takes pride in the fact that she never had any pre-conceived expectations from her child that many young mothers are expected to follow.
Talking about the biggest myth busters when it comes to motherhood, Basu told Opoyi, “I think everything is a myth when it comes from your parents to you.”
“It’s a learning for everyone because what works for me might not work for you so if I say a baby should not be breastfed and should be given top milk or vice versa, I think they are all theories. I know parents who have triplets and have not breastfed and still had very healthy babies so I think everyone learns from their own experiences.
“Of course reading, watching or hearing your parents is really great, but don’t take it as written or engraved in stone. Take each day as it comes. Everyone can be a good parent, it’s just that how you understand your child or how you understand yourself to deal with it and it’s not that tough,” said the filmmaker.
So is there something specific that new mothers need to follow?
“I wouldn’t know if am a great mom and if I should be really preaching to people but like I said, you listen to everyone, don’t shut doors to your parents or people who are elder than you or have things to say because definitely there is something to take away from them but like I said don’t get stuck when they say that ‘acchha ek saal mein bacchha bol nahi raha’ (he or she is not talking after a year), ‘child is not walking in one an half years’ or ‘should I show it to a doctor’. Don’t go mental about that.
“That was something which I made sure I was not getting affected by because I know people are concerned and that’s why they say that but it becomes over bearing for mother so I really kept away from it and it kept me sane. As and when Oyshee took to whatever I let her be. Also, the pandemic has come at a time when she has turned three so it’s all learning. There is no school and house is like a school with me being her teacher so let’s see how it goes and how her social interactive skills are going to be,” said Basu.
For someone, who has made a name for herself independently with shows like 'Meri Awaaz Hi Pehchaan Hai' and 'Ek Vivah Aisa Bhi', she says that even the entertainment industry is now way above the status quo of actresses.
“I think the industry now has changed this whole myth. Earlier people would pretend that they are single and not show that they are married or they are mothers because they will get less work or older work, I think all these apprehensions have gone from people. So being a mom, being a single mom, or not being married or being married is now just incidental. I think people are now more and more open to what you are as a person rather than what your status quo is,” said Basu, who has recently directed the web series 'Tandoor' starring Rashami Desai and Tanuj Virwani.
As a mother, Basu says that lockdown has taught everyone a lot of things, especially for parents who don’t get enough time with their kids.
“I think this was like a silver lining definitely. The pandemic has taught us a lot of things parenting being one. Her grandparents were of huge help during that time, also my baby's help, Yogita, is an asset to me. She especially learned English and the things that are taught to a two-year-old or a three-year-old. The other thing is that you don’t need those fancy charades which we have been living with and were needed for existence. I think we learned to live from the basics and that’s the great thing and that’s what I want to imbibe in Oyshee when she grows up,” she sums up.