People in love often forget to draw a line or rather face confusion when it comes to understanding the difference between toxic and healthy relationships. ‘Uyare’, which is an Indian-Malayalam language Drama film released on Netflix in the year 2019 shows a story that unravels toxicity in certain relationships.
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‘Uyare’ is directed by Manu Ashokan, starring Parvathy Thiruvothu, Asif Ali, and Tovino Thomas. It’s a story based on an ambitious girl Pallavi Raveendran (Parvathy Thiruvothu) who wants to become a pilot; later on, joins her dream academy as well but has to compromise because of her boyfriend Govind Balakrishnan (Asif Ali).
Why Uyare is different and breaks the mainstream definition of romance ?
‘Uyare’ shows Pallavi’s character as an independent, strong woman, who has dreams and aspirations rather than just a character that is dependent on a ‘male’ to be supported. However, the toxicity starts when Pallavi is not able to leave her boyfriend who constant passes on comments to her just because she’s busy.
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Sometimes, an individual is not able to identify the scenario that they are in and keep holding themselves accountable. This is what happens with Pallavi too as shown in the film.
When you’re supposed to tell every single detail of your day; that is not love.
Pallavi faces issues with Govind’s possessive attitude. He is told every time what to do and what no to do. That is not love. When you’re expected to give details of every single thing you do in a day is called a controlled environment. You are not supposed to owe any explanation to anybody but just yourself!
Emotional blackmailing is a major sign of a toxic relationship.
One tends to ignore some major signs of a destructive relationship. In the film, when Pallavi gets busy during her classes and doesn’t respond to Govind, he slits his wrist and sends a picture to Pallavi. In such scenario’s the mind often gets disturbed and get’s difficult to process things clearly. Pallavi falls to the same trap and believes that it’s a sign of true love.
In the later part of the film, Govind throws acid on Pallavi’s face and he is expected to be forgiven by his family because that would jeopardize his career. However, it’s too late to use the same emotional black mail trick again.
Love shouldn’t be the only goal of your life.
There are numerous things in life that should be one’s priority rather than a relationship that consumes one’s entire life. Life should be seen to achieve the goals in life. Pallavi begins to understand this aspect and breaks up with Govind.
Getting dependent on each other is toxic for both the partners.
In a relationship individual mind space is very important. However, both Pallavi and Govind were heavily dependent on each other. First Pallavi was dependent on Govind in school and later on he becomes dependent for an emotional support which ultimately resulted into a vicious cycle.
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As a result when Pallavi recognizes this toxic cycle and breaks up with Govind, he responds to this by throwing acid on her face. In the court as well, his male toxic superiority could be seen very well when he puts a proposal of getting married with a mentality that nobody will be willing to marry her because of her acid attacked face and no pilot career ahead anymore.
Moving on in life is possible and requires patience.
Pallavi doesn’t give up on her dreams and even meets a lot of new people in her life. She works has a airhostess and is proud of her abilities. Her confident nature and the will to start again gives motivation to several others who feel they are alone.
The society often glories the acts of violence and justifies it by saying it is to keep the person in ‘control’. One needs to break such absurd shackles and come out of the toxic definition of love set by the world.
