Actor Jessica Alba says that acting wasn’t always an enjoyable experience when she was young. The 40-year-old says said she was “insecure” early in her career.

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In an interview on last Friday’s episode of iHeartRadio’s Let’s Be Real with Sammy Jaye podcast, she said, ” (I was) so wildly insecure about my abilities as an actress. I felt so judged,” Alba told host Sammy Jaye, adding “I was my worst critic. I think I didn’t feel worthy.”

As a result of being “paralyzed with fear,” the Honest Company founder said she “never had a real liberating, fun experience” while shooting some of her earlier films, reports people.com.

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“I just admired people who just were swaggy on set,” she said to Jaye, 17. “It felt like they were just in the zone and you could tell when someone is in the zone and when they just feel good.”

At one point, Alba stepped away from acting. And she’s happy she did.

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“I think taking a break for so long from it and literally having no consequence to whether it works or not, it allows me to have the freedom as a storyteller to just be completely present and try things and I really love it. And it’s brought me real joy,” said the L.A.’s Finest star.

Earlier in the interview, Alba shared that it wasn’t until she was 30 years old that she was able to focus more on the journey and less on the outcome in life.