Manchester United was practically untrollable even a decade back. Sir Alex Ferguson’s wards were the undisputed force in the nation’s footballing landscape, stamping their authority across English grounds week in, week out. Since his retirement in 2013, the club has lurched from crisis to crisis, briefly rising above mediocrity only to fall back in the first go. Fergie anointed fellow Scotsman David Moyes as his heir, but his stint was disastrous. Louis van Gaal came on board, leaving with an FA Cup trophy and a bagful of gripes against the club. Jose Mourinho teased a return to the top. However, it turned sour soon after. Oldboy Ole Gunnar Solskjaer suffered a similar fate. Ralf Rangnick did little to lift the club, and now the sword hangs over Erik Ten Hag.

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The club’s wide fanbase cringe and cries on an almost regular basis. It’s even forced a few to turn to the gods to lift the doom. In faraway New Delhi, for instance, a Manchester United fan- spotted in their red livery- was found at the ISCKON temple on Janmashtami, hoping to wish away the ill mood that has gripped the club. It attracted the attention of British High Commissioner to India Alex Ellis. Perhaps done with his prayers, The Brit turned to the helpless man for a good-natured exchange:

“Importance of faith in any culture and to believe that Manchester United are going to win requires an act of faith. This gentleman, that’s why he is with me today in the ISKCON temple,” said Ellis.

“See, now I’m coming to the temple, I think would allow Manchester United to win,” replied the smiling fan.

“Lord Krishna has a great sense of humour, don’t forget that!,” exclaimed the High Commissioner.

“Maybe he can play for us in centre midfield,” joked the supporter.

“You’ll need more than Lord Krishna,” retorted Ellis.

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United walk into Monday night’s fixture against Liverpool on the back of two defeats. The second was a right rag, as Ten Hag’s men caved within 35 first-half minutes. Suffocated by the Bees’ press, the errors were aplenty. Wantaway starman Cristiano Ronaldo sulked through 90 torrid minutes, while new arrivals Christian Eriksen and Lisandro Martinez were bullied throughout. The latter was substituted at half-time, but the manager later admitted that he could have easily hooked off the whole lot. While Lord Krishna is unattainable, Casemiro does come on a £60 million transfer from Real Madrid. Will the Brazilian add beef to their brittle midfield? Only time will tell.