Jennifer Hudson just held her first daytime talk show with great success. The EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony) winner reflected on her long-held dream to host her own programme as she introduced the opening episode of The Jennifer Hudson Show on Monday.

“Thank y’all for being here. I’m not gonna cry on y’all,” Hudson told the audience. “But this is… it’s an emotional time and day for me because this is my first show and just know when you see me, you’re gonna see my heart. And I hope you feel my heart. And I wish you could sense my heart.”

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The singer reconnected with former American Idol judge Simon Cowell for their first sit-down discussion since she finished seventh on season 3 of the singing competition series in 2004. Hudson’s first guest provided an interesting throwback.

During Hudson’s tenure in the reality competition, Cowell—who developed a reputation for playing hardball with most contestants—was notoriously harsh. The vocalist was, in his famous words, “out of [her] depth.”

The 62-year-old said in retrospect that contestants like Hudson were a big reason why people watched the show because of her “combination of talent, determination, and real personality.” 

“And even though we had that kind of, like, banter, you and I, it was always that. I always knew how determined you were,” Cowell stated, adding, “You were funny and you took it with grace because you kind of got it. I always thought that about you.”

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Cowell attributes Hudson’s elimination that evening to her rendition of the 1976 song “Weekend in New England” by Barry Manilow.

He recalled that all he could think about that night was “‘Who chose stupid ‘Barry Manilow Week?'” and added, “That night, I will never forget.”

Cowell continued, “I remember thinking, ‘This is not a great song.’ Wasn’t your fault. And then, of course, what happened, happened.”

Cowell “flipped the script” on Hudson, asking the 41-year-old if she would retain her elimination as it was or modify the song she chose that day.

The Tony-winning actress said she wouldn’t regret her decision because Manilow’s songwriting style was comparable to the musical’s trademark song, “And I Am Telling You,” and it probably helped her land the Oscar-winning part of Effie White in Dreamgirls.

“It’s other songs before that that I would have changed,” she remarked. “When you’re on a show like that, you want to have a song that you feel represents you best… It was a few songs in the beginning that I’m like, ‘I don’t feel like that represents my artistry.'”

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“By the time I was eliminated, I felt like I got an opportunity to display who I was as an artist, so I was OK with being eliminated,” she noted. “And then once I was, I was like ‘You know what? You’re walking away with your talent. You’re walking away with your gift.’ This competition may be over, but your passion isn’t. Your love and your drive isn’t. Too often people give up and think that’s the end of the road and I said, ‘No, I’ll be back. And I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I will sing my way to it.’ You know what I mean? And I kept that goal in mind and I didn’t give up.”