Virat Kohli might seem like a superhuman when he plays impossible shots and posts crazy across formats year-after-year. But like every other person, he is susceptible to falling prey to self-doubt and anxiety when things aren’t quite going well. 

And the Indian captain revealed, in an interview with former England cricketer-turned commentator Mark Nicholas, that he suffered from depression after his struggles with the bat during a harrowing tour of England in 2014. 

After a promising start to the tour, where India won the second Test at the Lord’s Cricket Ground after drawing the first match at Trent Bridge Nottingham, the visitors imploded and lost the next three matches in a row, to finish the series with a 3-1 defeat. 

Kohli had a particularly torrid time, scoring just 124 runs in 10 innings at an average of 13.50. 

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Here is what Kohli had to say about the tour:

1. “You just don’t understand how to get over it. That was a phase when I literally couldn’t do anything to overturn things…I felt like I was the loneliest guy in the world.”

2. “Yes, I did,” he said when asked if he suffered from depression during that tour. “..it’s not a great feeling to wake up knowing that you won’t be able to score runs and I think all batsmen have felt that at some stage that you are not in control of anything at all.”

3. “Personally, for me that was a revelation that you could feel that lonely even though you a part of a big group. I won’t say I didn’t have people who I could speak to but not having a professional to speak to who could understand what I am going through completely, I think is a huge factor.”

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4. “I think I would like to see it change,” he said about metal health issues being taken lightly. “I strongly feel the need for professional help there to be very honest.”

5. “Someone whom you can go to at any stage, have a conversation around and say ‘Listen this is what I am feeling, I am finding it hard to even go to sleep, I feel like I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I have no confidence in myself, what do I do?’ “Lot of people suffer with that feeling for longer periods of time, it carries on for months, it carries on for a whole cricket season, people are not able to get out of it.”

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6. He said the “most impactful” incident of his life was losing his father at the age of 18. 

7. “…that incident really put things in proper perspective for me. My father did work very hard in initial days to make sure that I get the best cricket gear or I continue with my cricket practice. From there on it made my belief even stronger that come what may, I am definitely going to realise my dream to play at the highest level and represent my country.”