Director Anup Singh, who collaborated on two film projects with late actor Irrfan Khan, is set to release a book on February 14, 2022. The book, being a vital part of Singh’s grieving process,  is a reflection of the dynamic the two shared. 

After working on the 2013 film ‘Qissa’ and the 2017 drama film ‘The Song of Scorpions’, Singh planned to work closely with the actor in the years to come.  

Khan succumbed to cancer in April 2020 after a two-year long ordeal. He is survived by his wife Sutapa Sikdar and their two sons, Babil and Ayaan.

Titled ‘Irrfan: Dialogues with the Wind’, an excerpt of the book was recently published on Scroll.in. The excerpt discusses Singh’s experience of visiting Khan in hospital, and observing his strength and courage.

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The director also reminisced about conversations with Khan in hospital. The duo would often discuss future projects, including a film on philosopher Bulle Shah, and Mahabharat’s Duryodhana. Singh further recalled when Khan needed a morphine jab on his “stick-thin arm” to cope with the pain.

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An excerpt from the book reads, “in a month or so, I’m going to London again. For some more tests. I do think, you know: where will I die? Here? In London? And, other than pain, who’ll be there? Will I pass while asleep? Pass? What a strange word. Pass to where? Lying here, I try to look at my thoughts as they come and go. I do not feel I’m dying. The pain’s always there. There’s resentment. Anger. Doctor, nurse, medicine, trips to the toilet. But I do not feel I’m dying.”

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The book also discusses his moments of fear. The actor once expressed,  “Not always, but sometimes. Angry also. Bitter. Furious. Sad. Sadness is the worst. What could be. What could have been.”

According to Singh, the book is not only an expression of grief, but also a celebration of the actor’s life.