‘I hate being famous’, Anthony Bourdain told his ex-wife Ottavia Busia-Bourdain shortly before his suicide, ruing that he is “lonely and living in constant uncertainty”, according to a biography on the celebrity chef by journalist Charles Leerhsen. 

Bourdain died by suicide on June 8, 2018, in France while he was shooting for Parts Unknown. The unauthorised biography by Leerhsen claims that Bourdain was finding it hard to deal with fame and heartbreak in the days preceding his death.

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“I hate my fans, too. I hate being famous. I hate my job,” Bourdain told his ex-wife, who had become one of his closest confidants in the days leading up to his suicide. The book cites Bourdain’s chats with his wife during his final days and gives a perspective on his mental illnesses.

Excerpts from the book, titled Down and Out in Paradise: The Life of Anthony Bourdain, which is due to come out on October 22, was published by The New York Times. Apart from shedding light on Anthony Bourdain’s mental health, the book notes that he was having fits of jealousy over his then-girlfriend Asia Argento.

The book claims that Bourdain got fired up when he saw a picture of Argento dancing with French reporter Hugo Clement only five days before his death. Leerhsen says that Bourdain searched the actress’s name on Google multiple times and the couple later had a row over it on chat. 

“I am okay. I am not spiteful,” he wrote to Argento a day before his death, adding, “I am not jealous that you have been with another man. I do not own you. You are free. As I said. As I promised. As I truly meant.” 

The book says that Bourdain’s conversations with Argento before his death were intense. After the row over the photographs with Clement, Argento broke up with him due to his “possessiveness.”

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In the texts quoted in the book, Bourdain was upset with the fact that Argento visited their favourite hotel in Rome. He wrote to the XXX star, “You were careless. You were reckless with my heart. My life. I can’t take it.”

A day after their breakup, the actor shot for “Parts Unknown” during the day, drank with his team at night, and hanged himself later. The book also quotes texts exchanged between Argento and Bourdain in the hours before his death. 

It says that Bourdain had asked Argento, “Is there anything I can do?” to which the Italian actress replied, “Stop busting my balls.”