Musician Frankie Jonas, 20, opened up about how he struggled with addiction and suicidal thoughts prior to getting sober a year and a half ago.

“This is by no means the eloquent explanation I hope to give on a much more serious mode than this. However from a very young age I struggled with drinking and drugging as an escape because I hated life, and I didn’t want to be here,” Jonas said in the TikTok video, which was posted in response to a fan who asked him about his experience with addiction.

“I eventually, after many years of trying to kill myself accidentally, came to a point where I was going to do it for real

“Something intervened, and my life was saved. I went to treatment, and it saved me. I couldn’t be more grateful for the fact that I’m alive today because my world has changed so beautifully and so astronomically, and I am not that person anymore. I couldn’t be more grateful that I’m alive and happy,” he added.

Frankie is the brother of Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas and is currently a student at Columbia University in New York City